It’s Jan 4th and I’ve finally come up with a New Years resolution… which really shouldn’t have been hard considering there are a million things that I could work on or need to change. But that’s just it… I need change… so why go down the same path of deciding on a resolution that might last a week?
In the past I’ve said I was going to lose weight (which I’ve yet to even start on…), make all A’s, never skip a class, be more cautious about how I spend money, and even learn to play the guitar that’s been sitting in the corner of my room for a few years. It’s almost like I make these goals for myself but in the back of my mind I’m laughing because I know it will never happen…I’ve very pessimistic about this I must say. This year really is a time for change… and for once I don’t find myself making some exaggerated leap and laughing at myself. So, i’ve decided that my 2011 resolution is to actually stick to my goal of making changes. In order for me to stick to these changes things must be much less drastic and far fetch, and reachable yet challenging.
In less than a week I’ll return to school…which also means my head will be stuck in a book for the next 5 months. With that comes stress, sleepless nights, and lack of a social life. This past semester taught me a lot about myself, especially academically. During those long, sometimes torturous 16 weeks I learned how to study ( a few years too late…don’t judge me ), discovered my passion, grown away from what used to be the best of friends, and made new ones. I realized that I’m horrible with how I handle stress and need to find a new outlet to release it all, and I realized that I have the biggest support system that I could ever ask for.
This past year I’ve let many people in and out of my life, some for the best and some not so much. I’ve kept myself from trusting basically anyone and I just want to trust again. I want to let people in and not think twice about what their intentions really are or even who they really are. I’ve let a lot of things go and just brushed them off, and I’ve given the benefit of the doubt to people that really don’t deserve it… and for once, I am not going to settle for anything less than I deserve.
So within this “change” in 2011, I will work on myself emotionally, physically, and intellectually. I’m making a promise to myself and to my girlfriend, family, and friends to not let the stress from school to interfere with my relationships. I’m making a promise to live a healthier lifestyle and only grow emotionally…not physically (I’ve done enough of that). There will be no more half-assing anything or excuses. This will be my year… and either you stand by me, or you don’t.
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey
